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Routes, The Lighter Side of Public Transit

by Heinz Hammer

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction by Stuart M. Hodgson,
Chairman and CEO of BC Transit

Acknowledgements

Chapter One - How Things Got Rolling (by Brian Kelly)

In the VERY Beginning
Tallyho and Wells Fargo
From Horsecar to Horsepower
A Sparking New Form of Propulsion
The Trolley Car
From Open Car to President's Car
The Trackless
Beans to Gas, Gas to Diesel
A Few of the Rich and Famous

Chapter Two - The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Express Delivery
No Steroids Here
"Django is not Paying Today"
Not Guilty
Slugging it Out
Going His Way
How Much?
Where There's Smoke...
Life's a Ditch
Eggs from the Butterland
Wonder from Down Under
Leaving a Trail
Young Thief
Hands Up!
Nightmare on Peel Street
The Sting - Spanish Style
Double Whammy
Nagging Indigestion
No Chivalry
"Want a Smoke?"
Emergency! Emergency!
Bungling Bandits
The Power
Nessie's Rival
Heroes Galore

Chapter Three - If We Could Talk to the Animals

Pigeon Fallout
Yes, Sir, That's My Baby
Dog-Gone-It
Travelling Zoo
Feline Constipation
How Dry I Am
On the Buzzes
The Goldfish Boy
Full of It
Come Here, Puss-Puss, Nice Pussy!
The Stowaway
Duck Tale
No Justice
Finnish Kiss
What's My Time?
The Flying Elephant
Showdown of the Giants
Dogs for the Deaf
Squirrel Power
Fit for a Pig

Chapter Four - Just Kidding

Ready, Set, Go!
Going my Way?
Sorry, Ma'am
"Blow for it!"...
First Class Only
The Other Side
She Liked it Hot
"Let's Steal the Bus!"
Excuses, Excuses
Back Door Blues
King for a Day
Questions and Answers
"You go Lougheed Mall?"

Chapter Five - People on the Move

The Ripped Blouse
Aim - Fire!
Roll Call
Shave, Shower and Live Show for $ 1
Close Encounters of the VIP Kind
He Found It!
Miracle on a Bus
Flying Cows
Good Samaritan
The Flying Glove
Born Again
Minnesota 1, Chicago 0
Now You See It
Show and Tell
Subway Poet Keeps Riders on Track
The Older Twin
Tea Time

Chapter Six - Bits and Pieces

Dressed to Thrill
Running on Time
Need Any Help?
Tick, Tick, Boom, Boom
Philippine Jalopies
Moon on Broadway
Your Health or Mine?
Resurrection
Titbits
"Show me More!"
Skirting Disaster
Greek Charm
Turning the Tables

Chapter Seven - Love'n Stuff

Your Place or Mine?
Love on Rails
The Extra Touch
He Loves Me - He Loves Me Not
Kiss on the Run
The Mehan Bench
The Mock Marriage
Popping the Question
American Gondolier
"Where's My Little Girl?"

Chapter Eight - Lost and Found

Have You Lost Your Mind?
The Lost Baby
Have You Lost Your Money?
Shifting Time
Lost in Time
Large Item Lost
Very Lost

Chapter Nine - HELP!

Hijacked!
Blowing the Whistle
Look Ma, No Hands
Trolley Folly
Clipped Wings
Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang
Cool, Man, Cool
Logical Language Lingo
Heavenly Road


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